Everyone has one of those friends that you have known long enough that you can’t just write them off, yet they make your skin crawl with loathing. Mine is Jake. We grew up together. He was my neighbor through most of my schooling. We used to do everything together. We took swim lessons together at the “y.” We made fun of Stephi Taylor so much that she developed an eating disorder in high school. And anything adventurous we have ever wanted to try, sexually, we have done with each other. I was his first rim job; he was my first experiment with dildos during sex. We’ve gone through every lube on the market. We have had a lot of fun and nasty times.
I’m not sure how it happened, but one day he woke up a self-righteous asshole. Needless to say, we stopped having good times with each other.
But I haven’t been able to shake him in good conscience. I’ve known him too long to do that. So about once every month or so we get together and catch up. It usually ends up with too much to drink, a shouting match, and an expensive cab ride home.
I decided to change it up a little. I had him come over to my apartment to make sushi and drink sake.
We had far more sake than sushi and as per usual, we got in an argument. I don’t remember what it was about, but I was so angry that I slapped him. Before I could ponder what I had just done, I felt his hand slap against my face. As a reflex, I shoved him. He, in turn, shoved me against the wall and pressed hard against me. He kissed me so hard. It was amazing. I think my lips have been rubbed clean off. It was so violent. He ripped a handful of hair right out of my head. This morning I had a hand print on my ass and there are bruises all over my legs. At the end of the evening we realized one thing we’d never done in high school. We never tried tying him up.
I’m almost excited about what we’ll do next month.

My iPod has been having some problems, so I left it at home for the gym today but remembered the treadmills have an input for headphones. So I bring just my headset. I get to the gym, plug in the headset, and climb on the treadmill and I start getting my jog on. What’s playing through my tiny ear speakers? One of the 13 TVs they have on the wall. Mine was set to the “Entertainment Show”. So I am watching for about 3 minutes when the Anna Nicole montages come on. I have no idea why! Is it the anniversary of her death? No disrespect…but whatevs. They’re so lame. Sure Anna was hot at one time. Then everyone hated her for marrying that poor old man. Then she got really fat and made a complete joke of herself on her own show. She vanishes for about 1 year and comes back on the scene. Skinny and hot as ever. Fast forward like 2 more years and now she’s dead and everyone loves her again.

So all this goes through my mind before the timer on the treadmill hits 4:00, or half a mile. There are people on TV crying about her STILL, 4 days after her death. They loved her, she was great etc etc. It just makes me so sick. Nevermind that she married a poor old man for his money, spent a ton of time in court fighting over it, has a paternity case going on cause no one knows who the father of her newborn is, and she is still getting over her older son’s death (the same son, that rumor has it, she had a romantic affair with) EWWWW! So I am jogging, watching this mess on TV and I can’t help to think to myself, “Why do people still care about her”. What’s the big deal? She was a model. That’s about all she ever was good at. And she wasn’t even that good at it. Did you know during her Guess Clothing campaign, Anna Nicole was still like a size 12? That’s pretty big for a girl.

I’m now at 1 mile on the treadmill, and the show cuts to commercial… the 3rd commercial in is for ANNA NICOLE!! Another show about her otopsy. I can’t believe it! WTF?! Why do people care about her so much now? Where have I been to miss this all? I give up!

:( Chelci